Beam is a cute piece. The areas that are good or need work are...
The sound quality could be better. The editing could be more condensed, or tighter. The acting is very good. The beam itself has plenty of character, intriguing. The story is crafted and directed well, but again the editing could help make it a little more interesting. The music added a lot to the piece, but there are some places where it wasn't needed. The lighting was well done.
Over all this production works very well. Good Job!
I thought the beggining was a little hard to follow, but it did pick up with the glow ball that followed the guy everywhere. I enjoyed most of the story itself especially at the end where the old dude explained who the ball was, overall I thought it was a cute movie with playful characters.
I wonder if you have seen my movie (Committed) and wonder what you think of it.
Yeah I have some other pieces of work I have done over at youtube.com/lundinproductions. The pieces kind of vary in what they are if you are looking for short films I've worked on then watch Abuse, The Drop, The Dates, and Stakeout.
"Dying is easy. Comedy is hard." I think it was Sir Laurence Olivier who said that or I paraphrase but many comic since like George Burns have repeated it.
You have various different gags going on here. The first one is the main character doing the bit in the park, running up and down the hill, trying to get noticed or strike a conversation with "the girl."
The pacing, timing and execution of this gag does not pay off. This whole sequence needs to happen quicker and with less instances of the obvious. We see him repeating his actions three time but we don't move forward it is just repetition without build or added comic effect. It drags the short down. This is partly an editing problem and partly script problem.
THe next comedic sequence is when the main character is introduced to the "Beam". This moves better, mostly because we are caught by surprise and want to watch how the Beam interacts with the guy. There is huge unrealized potential here for the guy to test his sanity in relation to the Beam.
The third comedic sequence is the main character going home with he Beam in tow. The gag here, of course, is the bathroom bit with the Beam going under the door; the TV viewing preference and the laundry sheets folding. The bathroom one is cute. The TV one works because it gives dimension of character to the Beam.
But all this could be tightened up and it doesn't build -- you feel watching it like, now we going to see another instance of the same. With comedy you have to be efficient and pacing precise or all the air goes out of the humor.
Finally, the payoff scene with the girl and the restraining order does not wok because they've never meet, don't know each other and you can get a restraining order without cause and this is a script problem.
There are a lot of camera shots that are waist up and that is the camera not committing to the characters or the story. The most glaring instance of this is the scene with the old man on the bench.
The old man's critical lines are read while he is starting down at the ground. We can't see his eyes, we can hardly made out what he saying due to mumbling. The actor is not committed to what he is saying. In this sequence we should have close ups and reaction shots between these two men as they are speaking. This is a direction and camera problem.
Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium? Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!
Bloomington Minnesota - Stay at our French-inspired boutique all suites hotel located in the heart of Bloomington, Minnesota—minutes from Minneapolis-St.Mall of America Hotels.
8 comments:
Beam is a cute piece. The areas that are good or need work are...
The sound quality could be better.
The editing could be more condensed, or tighter.
The acting is very good.
The beam itself has plenty of character, intriguing.
The story is crafted and directed well, but again the editing could help make it a little more interesting.
The music added a lot to the piece, but there are some places where it wasn't needed.
The lighting was well done.
Over all this production works very well. Good Job!
I agree. Editing a couple minutes out of this story would make it funnier and pace it better.
There is also a bit too much story exposition conveyed through telling and not showing.
Nice effort and particularly taking the risk of making a character out of an inanimate or non-personified beam.
I thought the beggining was a little hard to follow, but it did pick up with the glow ball that followed the guy everywhere. I enjoyed most of the story itself especially at the end where the old dude explained who the ball was, overall I thought it was a cute movie with playful characters.
I wonder if you have seen my movie (Committed) and wonder what you think of it.
Very cute, Karen and Chris! I especially liked how Beam went under the door. Definitely a different take on "unrequited love."
Great job!
Yeah I have some other pieces of work I have done over at youtube.com/lundinproductions. The pieces kind of vary in what they are if you are looking for short films I've worked on then watch Abuse, The Drop, The Dates, and Stakeout.
"Dying is easy. Comedy is hard." I think it was Sir Laurence Olivier who said that or I paraphrase but many comic since like George Burns have repeated it.
You have various different gags going on here. The first one is the main character doing the bit in the park, running up and down the hill, trying to get noticed or strike a conversation with "the girl."
The pacing, timing and execution of this gag does not pay off. This whole sequence needs to happen quicker and with less instances of the obvious. We see him repeating his actions three time but we don't move forward it is just repetition without build or added comic effect. It drags the short down. This is partly an editing problem and partly script problem.
THe next comedic sequence is when the main character is introduced to the "Beam". This moves better, mostly because we are caught by surprise and want to watch how the Beam interacts with the guy. There is huge unrealized potential here for the guy to test his sanity in relation to the Beam.
The third comedic sequence is the main character going home with he Beam in tow. The gag here, of course, is the bathroom bit with the Beam going under the door; the TV viewing preference and the laundry sheets folding. The bathroom one is cute. The TV one works because it gives dimension of character to the Beam.
But all this could be tightened up and it doesn't build -- you feel watching it like, now we going to see another instance of the same. With comedy you have to be efficient and pacing precise or all the air goes out of the humor.
Finally, the payoff scene with the girl and the restraining order does not wok because they've never meet, don't know each other and you can get a restraining order without cause and this is a script problem.
There are a lot of camera shots that are waist up and that is the camera not committing to the characters or the story. The most glaring instance of this is the scene with the old man on the bench.
The old man's critical lines are read while he is starting down at the ground. We can't see his eyes, we can hardly made out what he saying due to mumbling. The actor is not committed to what he is saying. In this sequence we should have close ups and reaction shots between these two men as they are speaking. This is a direction and camera problem.
Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!
Bloomington Minnesota - Stay at our French-inspired boutique all suites hotel located in the heart of Bloomington, Minnesota—minutes from Minneapolis-St.Mall of America Hotels.
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